Short jokes
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
Are you a Pikachu?
Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!
Pokemon
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
I have (I HAVE) bolas.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
Wanna see a joke? Open the front-facing camera.
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
I scored.