Short jokes
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
bill tran
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No? Neither did he.
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
What do you call a child with no family?
Names.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is.
I asked my sister to say something.
She said, "No."
That's what I like to hear.
You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.