Short jokes
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
Make America Great Britain again!
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
According to scientists, there has been a discovery of water on Mars.
Mars-1
Africa-0
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
Suck on deez balls!
What is an orphan's favorite TV show?
"Alone."
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
Why did Dan the orphan go to the orphanage?
Because he was! I couldn't make the homepage website!!
The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.