Short jokes
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.
That was so funny, I forgot to laugh.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
Have y'all ever heard of dad jokes? Y'all hairline is funnier than those.
What type of movies are orphans not allowed to watch?
PG movies.
Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.
The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”
Then she said that's true.
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Ha ha! Get rickrolled!
Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.