Short jokes
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
Q: What do you call a rich Asian? A: Dr.
Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?
Why can't Asians do word searches?
They can't see the words.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
What do you call a deep diver? A DeepWoken player.