Short jokes
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
What does Pikachu and an orphan have in common?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Nepali people are so fucking racist, like I want them all to be extinct.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Why can't you ever see an emo?
They're too high to see.
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
What did one butt say to the other?
Something brown is slithering down.
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
What is a fun game for an emo kid?
Tug-o-war with a tree.
I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
Why were the baker's hands brown?
Because he was kneading a poop.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????