My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Short Jokes
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
Are you a Pikachu?
Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!
Pokemon
I have (I HAVE) bolas.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
What do you call Aston?
Asston.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
What is the definition of clapped?
Ur mum when I am in her bed.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
So um uh I like people who like people who like people.
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
John Toberty is not funny.
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
