Short jokes
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Wanna see a joke? Open the front-facing camera.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?
A sissy.
What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.