The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.
Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."
Kid: ðŸ˜
Short Jokes
Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?
You: What?
Me: She let it go, let it go!
You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.
I made this game called Ligma. Say it, "Ligma."
Lick my balls.
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her:
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
"Sike, I lied, your dick is dry."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Of a bad internet connection.
Who wants to fight!? Hate?! And pick on each other through the comments.
ANYONE?
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
What’s better than Ted Danson?
Ted singing and Danson!
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
