Short jokes
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?
You need to com-it.
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.
What’s blue and comes in brownies?
Cub Scouts.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
7000+ bats.
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?
If you're a girl, please comment.
Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.
Daddy, good morning, please, I want too, but Davido's second-hand towel is 2.5 million.
Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.