Short jokes
My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!
I was at the bank yesterday.
A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
I thought gender reveal parties were only for newborns, not for teenagers.
Your hairline goes further back, even further back than the Precambrian Time.
(DOORS)
What door is the first door that opens for you?
The elevator to go to the game.
What do you never say to gay people?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️🌈
Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
What’s a gay person’s favorite race track?
Rainbow Road.
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
gbfhxgrbdivnhgfnvchyxrvdnfhbvgndbf c
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
Gnome.
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!