Short jokes
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
Q: What do you call a rich Asian? A: Dr.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.