Short jokes
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What did the other wave say to the other wave?
"Nothing, they just waved!"
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.
Kiwi loves men.
Kiwi: she's here!!
2022
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.