Short jokes
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.
I said, "Maybe."
I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.
What did the tower say to the other one?
I will see you later; I am about to get hit.
"Now buzz off" - Explain Bear
What’s impossible?
Steven Walkings.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
How do you piss off a feminist? You rape her.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby together, it would be a turd covered in semen.
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when done with his black dates?
He dumped them.
What attracted Jeffrey Dahmer to abortion clinics?
- He smelled veal.
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A Milano’s cherry.
Why are farts a nice break for emos?
They get to cut cheese.