Short jokes
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? The Parent Trap.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
According to scientists, there has been a discovery of water on Mars.
Mars-1
Africa-0
Suck on deez balls!
What is an orphan's favorite TV show?
"Alone."
Why did Dan the orphan go to the orphanage?
Because he was! I couldn't make the homepage website!!
The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅