Short jokes
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
An obese kid farts.
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
You really gay. No questions added.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?
It was family friendly.
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.