Short jokes
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
gbfhxgrbdivnhgfnvchyxrvdnfhbvgndbf c
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!
I was at the bank yesterday.
A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.