Short jokes
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
What does a cloud wear in a storm?
Thunderwear.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
My boyfriend dumped me. Guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame?
The convoy truckers are a joke.
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
Someday you'll go far.
"I love all mankind!" said the cannibal.
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS