Short jokes
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
Sup?
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Why are there gates on a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get inside. Lol
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.