Short jokes
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.
“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IDK! WHY?
To go see yo mama!
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"
Your momma's so fat that she is the Earth!
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
How do NASA plan parades?
They plan-et.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.
What do you think about the game "Fortnite?"
Shit.
Si, papi?
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.