Short jokes
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
Player 138 eliminated...
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
I like trains.
*train hits him*
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.