Short jokes
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
Your mum isn't home.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Catch.
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
Why did the boy ask a question to the girl?
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
All the jokes on this website are terrarible.
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.
My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.