Short jokes
Why wasn’t the frog 🐸 crying?
Because he was hoppy.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
Why did people bully the burning circuit?
It was too short.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?
She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.
I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
Myles Parfitt ;/
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.