Short jokes
Yo mamma is so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
In 2023, I hope we all get wiped out like the dinosaurs.
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
What do emo kids have in common with orphans?
They both depress'd on the inside.
What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Parental guidance.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't orphans play poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is.
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Good Morning Everyone, have a good and positive day!