Short jokes

Short jokes

Nut

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

Loop

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

Saw

A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.

Word

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

Text

The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.

Shot

Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.

I'm going to hell!

Bee

Can bees fly in the rain?

Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!

Mama

Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!

Sex

My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"

Fish

One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?

One "knight"!!!

Difference

What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.