Short jokes
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
We’ve got to celebrate our differences! 👻🤝🐵🤝🍚🤝🌮🤝💣🤝🏳️🌈🤝🍔🤝🥖🤝🍕
How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode.
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
Why is America not good at Clash Royale? Answer: They lost 2 towers! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.
I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
What do orphans eat for breakfast?
Daddy-O's.
You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.