Short jokes
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
2+2=7
None of these jokes really took off.
This is an a-maze-ing joke!
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.