Short jokes
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"
"Stop it," said he.
What did the Brit say to the American?
Well here comes fascism.
What hates men but would have no life without men?
A triggered feminist.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
Yo mama is so stupid that she studied for a COVID test.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Your momma's so fat that she is the Earth!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!