Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
Short Jokes
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.
What do you think about the game "Fortnite?"
Shit.
What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
