Short jokes
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error.
What's Adam's biggest fear?
Andy with a belt.
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
Why is Black History Month the shortest month of the year?
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
Time to play guitar!
*absolutely shreds*