Short jokes
PP in the poo poo.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
Everyone says "no homo," why do gays not say "no hetero?"
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
I don't get mitosis.
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.