Short jokes
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. đ
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
Whatâs the best thing about Switzerland?
I donât know, flags big plus.
How do you ground a Gen Z?
Make them go outside and socialize.
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Whatâs the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You canât pull on her hair.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
Knock, knock.
Whoâs there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and youâll see.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
Ugh... I hate Anons so much, they're annoying as fuck.
What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?
He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.
Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.