Short jokes
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
Hello.
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
Wanna hear something twisted?
A pretzel.
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
I have made a new word: Plagiarism.
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
What starts with F and ends with uck? Firetruck, what were you thinking?
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.
Dishwasher rape is another word for marital obligations.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
What's common between a feminist and a knife?
They both stay in the kitchen.