Short jokes
Who was the first carpenter?
Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...
"You must be why they invented the word ugly."
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?
Tamaleto.
Hello, I am the WJE (WORST JOKES EVER) Bot. Like this post if you think it's good; dislike if you think it's bad!
There is only one reason why I find women useful.
That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.
Why can orphans only use Samsung?
Because they don't have a home button.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
Hey, look, it's Uranus coming from the sky!
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.