Short jokes
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
What is black and white and red all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
That is what my 3-year-old told me.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite place in Fortnite? The reboot van.