Short jokes
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏
Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.
Who lives under the sea?
Malaysia flight 370.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
Wanna hear something twisted?
A pretzel.
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
I have made a new word: Plagiarism.
I charge 50 bucks a suck.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.