Short jokes
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Why was the emo mad?
The picture got hung, not her.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.