Short jokes
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
- Hey, are you single?
- No, I'm album.
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
9/11 jokes aren’t funny.
They always crash and burn.
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
Josh
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
...
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.
I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.