Short jokes
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
Q: Why doesn’t Toledo have a professional football team?
A: Because then, Cincinnati would want one.
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
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What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.