One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
Short Jokes
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
Christianity.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?
They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
Hello.
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
