Short jokes
Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?
B: Because today we had a parent meetup.
Eshay.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
SEX Some Event Xaern
Xaern - loving something so much you begin to dislike it.
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
Which is better looking, girls or women?
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.