Short jokes
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
Girls with the name Beoni are white.
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.