Short jokes
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
What did the orphan want for Christmas?
Parents.
I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.
Why does an orphan hate the internet?
Because he's always on the homepage.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
Your hairline is in a different area code.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.
Comment your favorite sport.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.