Short jokes
Unbelievable! When I searched “house of spades,” all I saw was a slave home!
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Sniffing cocaine?
YES SIRRR!
Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"