Short jokes
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
What does William say when he hurts his toe?
"I wanna scream and shout and let it all out."
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.