Short jokes
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
Where did the one legged lady work?
IHOP
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
How to stop bullying?
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
What do Orphans say on Father's Day?
Well, not "Happy Father's Day."
What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"