Short jokes

My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."

What did the cow say every morning?

Good moorning!

Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Answer: Because they taste funny!

What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.

Why are orphans whores?

Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃

What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?

They are not for kids.

What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?

A life expectancy of 15-25 days.

If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?

What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?

Cot death.

If bedbugs live in beds, where do cockroaches live?

Octopus, more like octopussy.

If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?

Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.

No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?

My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."

What's long and black, the line to KFC.

Bully: You're a loser and fat.

Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.

Technoblade NPC: Gets removed from Minecraft!

Technoblade: Gets removed from real life!

What did one casket say to the other casket?

"Is that you coughin'?"

What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?

A mind-blowing bean burrito.