Short jokes
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
My name is Joe Biden, and I am running for US Senate.
I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.
What do you call an Indian lesbian? Minge-eater.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
What did Mother Mary say when God farted? Jesus Christ, you stink!