Short jokes
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
Why did C.S.C fail the Trig test? Cosecant remember his own name! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."
I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?
A: An airport.
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.