Short jokes
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
Porn.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
What’s the worst part of being a pedophile?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
On the fourth month (Symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
How do you spell "cognitive mess?"
J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."