Short jokes
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer!
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
Orphans are stupid, am I right? Hehehehehehehehehehehe.
Why do people eat food?
Coz it tastes good lol.
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?
Sticky Minaj.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a sugar donut?
People want donuts.
The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.