Short jokes

Short jokes

Orphan

Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.

Fish

Where do you go to get the best fish?

A restaurant on the Titanic.

Eye

So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"

Cow

What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"

Name

Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.

Aaron: Why?

Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.

Gunshot

Where did Sally go after the gunshot?

6 feet under.

*That is how deep they put the coffin...*

Bro

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

Orphan

Name one person who would take an orphan?

Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?

Several hundred calories.

Concussion

My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.

He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.

A stone’s throw away, in fact.

Motivation

POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?

Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?