Short jokes
No one.
Absolutely no one.
The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Texans: Don't mess with Texas.
*snows 1 inch*
Texans: Please help us, President Biden!
Why did Sally fall dead?
Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!
"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!