Short jokes
Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.
How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy's cock.
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
My sis a fat cow.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.
Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?
*Splash!*
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
Sam Mensah!
Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.