Short jokes
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
Why did C.S.C fail the Trig test? Cosecant remember his own name! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
Jacob has a small penis.
What did a gay Indian use as weapons of war?
A rain-bow.
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.