Short jokes
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
I woke up on the floor this morning. I think I woke up on the wrong side though.
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Odo walks down the alley and turns into a bar.
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.