Short jokes
Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."
I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?
A: An airport.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"