Short jokes
If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
What is Jesus' favorite gun?
A nail gun.
In Africa, in every 60 seconds, a minute passes.
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
I eat ass.
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
There's a sexy milf that lives next door. The only thing better is her 8 Y/O.
TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.
Why was 10 scared?
Because 9/11 came flying in.
My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
You can say what you want about deaf people...