Short jokes
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
Rape victims suck, literally.
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.