Short jokes
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
I'm a nonbinary trash can.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
My wife left me and took the kids.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?
POORphan
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
You're a joke!
What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?
"Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" 😂😂🤭🤭
Operation failed in North Korea, the surgeon died.
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.