Short jokes
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
Your mom is pregnant and you're the father.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
Sam Mensah!
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy's cock.
Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
My sis a fat cow.
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.