Short jokes
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Saying balls go into pussy.
Yesterday, a 5-year-old dyslexic boy almost saved his mother from drowning, but he kept dialing 119...
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.
Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!