Short jokes
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
She thought it was diet coke.
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.