Short jokes

What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?

A cypher circle.

What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?

Because his bars were ice.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

How are Black people like communism?

Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

What does Can do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.

Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?

"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.

When cops say you have the right to remain silent,

You're just happy you have the right to do something.

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

Why don’t Indians play soccer?

Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.

A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

What song does Kobe Bryant hate?

"Rocky Mountain High."

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.