Short jokes
Marriage is really educational.
When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.
I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
What do gingers miss most at a grate party?
The invitation.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.