Short jokes
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
Octopus.
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?
"Mine is meatier than yours."
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
Elephant
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.