Short jokes
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?
"Hey BrO!"
My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?
I sat down and wrote a joke.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.
His girls clapped, BTW. 😬
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.