Boo! 👻🎃💀🕷️🕸️☠️ (So scary, right?)
Short Jokes
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
