Short jokes
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
Keep calm and curry on!
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
Kevin Woody (look him up)
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
My dignity to live.
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
Why tie when you can knot?
Snort poo poo.
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.