Short jokes
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
Nobody:
Me: "Nobody:" "Me:"
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Wow, I can't believe you'd take the time to read this!
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
You just made a Mist-ake.
Snort poo poo.
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
Stormtrooper: What happened with your garden?
Palpatine: Grew it.
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
Why though?