Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.
Short Jokes
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
12/8?
We’ll be back.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
Ryan.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
For a golfer, Tiger Woods isn't very good of a driver.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
What did the rapper say to the SANDWICH?
"Wrap it up!"
What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?
"Yo, chill!"
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?
To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!
What's a rapper's favorite DESSERT?
Rhyme-berry pie.
