Short jokes
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
Year 10 English.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
You are quite [something].
I love stairs. They always bring me up.
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
Roses are red, chocolate is brown,
I expect nothing and still get let down!
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
Believe in unicorns, and they'll believe in you!
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.
More jokes.
A joke.
Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!