Short jokes
Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.
I can't come in, because I'm too high.
Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?
I know I've changed my name from tj to selfish king but know it's gunna be selfishking#781.
Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)
Imagine everyone being hoes.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
I like ramen. If you do, like!
None of these jokes are close to funny! Btw, who the hell is Gwen?
Orphanage protest jokes here!
"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!
Which one do you want to watch? 😀"