Short jokes

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics.

What is Spiderman's favorite rice?

Uncle Ben's.

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.

Why do they call them a nonce?

Because they go for people who don't have any sense.

"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"

"Oh, that was the cat."

"We don't have a cat..."

"Oh..."

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?

NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!

What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?

An escapee from a mental hospital.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.

Son: Dad, where are you?

Dad: Getting another one.

Son: Getting what?

Dad: Dad.

Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"

"No."

"Have you always been honest?"

"No, never been caught!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.

If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.