Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
Short Jokes
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
