Short jokes
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
IBC.
IBC who?
I'll be seeing you later.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
Why woman?
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
This bitch won't message me anymore, what the fuck do I do? Why are bitches so sensitive?
What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?
This guy, yep, this guy right here.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!