Short jokes
Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.
Your dad must be a mailman.
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
ICH BIN GOTT.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
Ryan.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
"Scoop pa tun manaa?"
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
Glip gloop glap.
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.