Short jokes

Short jokes

Golf

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

Battery

Do you know why they call me battery saver?

I get turned on when it’s below 10%.

Adoption

You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.

Viagra

In life, some people have it harder than others.

That's why Viagra exists.

Guy

Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?

He got hearing aids.

Communism

How are Black people like communism?

Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.

Wheelchair

What does Can do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

Emo kid

Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?

It died before them.

Rib

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

Indian

Why don’t Indians play soccer?

Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.

Actor

Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.

Magazine

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

Difference

What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?

The sound when they hit the windshield.

Girlfriend

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

Penis

I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.

Skeleton

Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?

HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.

Zoo

Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.