Short jokes
Virgos are always virgins to age 17... Just saying.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
Gallons (DYM 113).
Hana?
What did George Washington Carver have anything to do with gorillas? It's a little possible, ya dummy!
Where do all orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
I got in a cage fight.
The hamster didn't know what hit him!
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Wanna come hang out with me?
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."