Short jokes

Short jokes

Fun

How to know something won’t be fun:

Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

Hairline

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

Pilot

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

Lesbian

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.

Eye

Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.

Hairline

Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.

Toast

911 what's your emergency?

"Burning in toaster."

"Toast?"

"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"

"Set fire to my forest!"

Fat

Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."

Actor

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

Police Officer

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

Hairline

A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.