Short jokes
Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Sans: What am I using?
A trom-bone!
I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
I love jumping off cliffs.
Yo, hairline go so far back they got their own fashion type.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
Basketballs are bigger than end.
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
You're more uglier.
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
"Among Us," dada.
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.