Short jokes
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
You're more uglier.
Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
What did the spectator miss when going to the toilet?
The entire English innings.
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.