Short jokes
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
I like peanut butter and honey.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
Where did Sally go during the summer? Swimming.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."