Short jokes
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!
P.S., it's Jake.
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.
This bitch won't message me anymore, what the fuck do I do? Why are bitches so sensitive?
What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?
This guy, yep, this guy right here.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"