Short jokes
Make like a drum and beat it!
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
My parents love me.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did the racist CoD player say to yo mama?
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