Short jokes
I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
What do incest families do on Halloween?
Pumpkin.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?
tweezers.