Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
Short Jokes
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.
If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?
tweezers.
I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.
What is the richest planet?
Saturn 🪐- It has many rings.
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say "black paint" anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall?"
