Short jokes

Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.

This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.

Glory 🕳 equals 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 bonding.

I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.

What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.

Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?

Me neither. It all came crashing down.

Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.

What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".

What happened to the blind man's son?

He thought he was hitting a piñata.

What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?

LIFE.

Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?

People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.

What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?

Cutting-edge Technology.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.

If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?

I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till I realized it is a family business.

Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?

because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.

How do trees get online? -- They just log in.