Short jokes
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.
If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.
What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?
tweezers.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.