Short jokes
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
Daeveeonnnn.
Hey! Some idiot drew a cat on this pillar! Wait... does that make it a caterpillar?
What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."
"Hey, Firesharky... How did you know if I was your brother when I'm not? You didn't even say my name, and plus, I'm lying about my name."
I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?
Hi huuuuuy.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
Which room is the safest place in the house?
The living room.
For some reason, people make fun of my name because it rhymes with something that starts with an F.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
Who ever said "condom?" YES DADDY!
When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."